By Age At Wal-Mart
You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit- shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.
Depending on your age you might do the following:
In your 20’s: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.
In your 30’s: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.
In your 40’s: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.
In your 50’s: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don’t want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy’s Bait & Beer Bar and it says, ‘I Got Worms.’
In your 60’s: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50’s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in you pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on, so you are not sure.
In your 70’s: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready, too. Don’t even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.
In your 80’s: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.
LMAO!
Puts me in a good mood to go condo shopping with my parents. Have I mentioned they’re going to help me buy a place? I’m super psyched! I found 10 condos online and in the paper that I want to look at, and they are going to pick 5 of them for us to go see. I’m really excited to own my own home! No more wasted rent money for this girl. *grins* I’m trying really hard to be more financially responsible, and this is a good first step, right? Of course another part of it is working my butt off at the catering company and here at Bay City Blues too, so thank god I have the best phone boyfriends in the world!
Mmmm I just love naughty teacher roleplays! I got to seduce Bri-Guy when he came in for the special parent-teacher conference. I’ve seen him around, and he always seemed like such a nice guy. But it must be lonely being a single father, so I decided to make sure he’s not going without. And I hit my goal of three orgasms in one call, so I guess we’ll just have to raise the bar higher. *wink*
Then I had a marathon oral and spanking session with Sweetheart Paul, my brand new phone boyfriend from Connecticut. He was such a generous lover, and it was an absolute joy getting to discover his turn-ons and even just chit chat with him!
Midnight Mike and I had a ride that would have put Paul Revere’s to shame! *giggle* I love sliding down on a nice big throbbing cock and feeling what my gorgeous body does to a man! Trust me, Midnight Mike is no exception- he shot a huge load deep inside me almost as soon as he felt me wrap around him!
I finally got to catch up with Marvelous Marty, who was worried since I’ve been so hard to reach lately (family emergency, but no biggie). We did an amazing mile-high fantasy inspired by my short flight (the same family thing again) and that sexy minx, Melody. MM and I were on a red-eye flight and couldn’t help teasing and flirting with each other until we had to take advantage of those airline blankets for a little privacy. I feel bad for whoever has to clean up the plane. Hehehe!
Had an awesome phone sex orgy with Josie, who has the sexiest Southern drawl! She and her Texas Billionaire boyfriend made me an offer I couldn’t refuse- be his girlfriend on the side and never have to work again! I can’t wait to spend my days shopping and at the spa and my nights getting naughty with them in their luxurious mansion!
Oh yeah, just in case you were wondering, not all shout outs are good ones. To the drunken asshole who called me in the middle of the night and got mad when I wouldn’t dominate him, ummm HELLO?!?! I’m the phone sex girlfriend, not the phone sex dominatrix! I state it clearly like just about everywhere. I blog about GFE phone sex. I don’t list domme specialties anywhere. It’s one thing if you miraculously overlook all of that, but to be rude and abusive towards me because YOU can’t read is unnacceptable. I love phone sex. But I don’t have to put up with that crap. So there. *whew* Sorry just had to get that off my chest. Lol.
At least one bad apple doesn’t ruin the rest of my bunch of awesome phone boyfriends. Hope you had a great weekend!
XOXO
Amy