Girlfriend Amy

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive. So, I took her to a gas station.

And that’s how the fight started…

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And that’s how the fight started…

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, “unbutton your shirt.”

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, “that silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,” and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office. She said, “you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.”

And that’s how the fight started…

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, “do you know her?”

“Yes,” I sighed, “she’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” said my wife, “who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?”

And that’s how the fight started…

I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it…He was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, “I AM NOT HAPPY!!!”

So, I looked down at him and said, “well, then which one are you?”

And that’s how the fight started…

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”

He said, “aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s how the fight started…

Hehehe! I love silly little jokes, don’t you? We all need extra reasons to smile and giggle, I say. And speaking of, boy has your phone girlfriend been busy these past few weeks! Shirley has her entire family in town for the holiday, so I’ve been picking up some extra office time, not to mention all the events in the evening. Whew! Who knew this was such a crazy demanding job!?! But you know what? I totally love it. I love the challenge of making something happen, especially when it puts a smile on someone’s face. Which I guess shouldn’t come as a surprise, since I love phone sex so much. Hehehe! Anyways, I just wanted to let you all know that yes I am still alive and still around for your phone date pleasure. *winks* Here’s hoping you have a great holiday season…

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

XOXO
Amy

Well no matter who you voted for, you can’t deny that this was one history-making election! I worked an election party that was totally out of control- everybody was tipsy by 7pm, and by the time they called it for Obama just after 8pm (my time, Pacific), we had to send a runner back to the kitchen for more champagne. It was pretty cool watching the results come in, don’t you think? I’m really proud that our country has come so far! Anyway, the party host was so happy that I personally got a $100 tip, and I think she gave each of the servers and bartenders $75. AND, she’s a friend of my mom’s, so I actually brought the event in, which means I get a percentage of the profits. I totally love my job!

It kind of sucks that I’m so busy right now though, because it means less time for slow, sweet phone sex with my favorite boyfriends. *pout* I know it has been hard to get ahold of me, but I promise if you email or IM me, I will try my best to be available when it’s convenient for you to call. Thankfully, I ~have~ gotten to get caught up with two of my oldest, bestest phone friends…

My Tender Lover let me slide into bed with him the other morning and wake him up the sweetest way I know how. His big, strong body stretched out next to mine reminds me how perfect we are together…I am his woman, and he is my man…Now that’s what I call a good morning, baby! *giggle*

Hugs and kisses to my adored Marvelous Marty, for keeping in touch even through the ups, downs, and changes that life throws at us. It’s always so wonderful to hear your voice on the line and know how much you care! Thanks for letting me be your phone girlfriend, darling. *smooch*

Here’s to HOPE and CHANGE for this great country of ours in the years ahead! Hmmm, I think patriotism makes me horny…Hehehe…

XOXO
Amy

TOP 10 REASON TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX

10. You’re guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.

8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.

7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gave you candy.

6. The person giving you candy doesn’t fantasize you’re someone else.

5. If you get a stomach ache, it won’t last 9 months.

4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you’re kinky.

3. It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.

2. You’ll feel less guilt the next morning.

1. If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door!!

Lol! Yep, it’s that time of year again…CANDY TIME! Hehehe. I asked my neighbor if they usually get a lot of trick-or-treaters here, and she said last year they went through four (!) bags of candy bars! I’ve got three mega-sized bags sitting on my kitchen table just waiting for Friday, but omg it’s sooo hard not to rip them open and have a major sugar orgy. *grin*

Oooh can I just tell you that I loooooove my job!?! Who knew I’d make such a good event manager? But I really feel like I’m hitting my stride. Both of my events last week went great, and one of the clients even took the time to write Shirley an email telling her what a good job I did! Honestly it’s like a dream- I get to spend other peoples’ money and make them happy. LOL! But it’s really neat knowing I help make an important day even more special, you know?

Mmmm and if you want me to make your day, why not slip into bed with your sexy phone sweetheart? I’d love to show exactly why I’m the perfect girlfriend…And if I don’t talk to you before then, have a Happy Halloween!

XOXO
Amy

P.S. I promise I’ll get back to shoutouts soon, it’s just been really hard getting used to my new schedule. Kisses to all you sexy phone friends for keeping me so happy!

I can’t believe I’m finally settled in!  OMG how do I even explain how much I love love LOVE my new place?  It’s absolutely perfect for me.  It’s a one-bedroom, loft-style condo with an open floor plan and tons of natural light.  I’m going to try to get a friend with a camera over here to take some pictures, but trust me it’s gorgeous.  I even have a balcony and pretty views, though I can’t see the Space Needle or anything fancy like that.  All my furniture got delivered last week, so I’m finally done unpacking and arranging things.  It’s my home!  Mine!  I can’t believe it.  I had my parents over for dinner last night to thank them- honestly I know I’m so spoiled I almost feel guilty.  I’m lucky that even in this economy, my folks are able to help me out financially and I really appreciate it.  No more wasting money on rent, now I get to “build equity.”  *giggles*  Makes me feel awfully grown-up (*shudder*) to use terms like that.  Lol!

In other news, things at the catering company are going GREAT!  Shirley officially promoted me to an event manager, so now I don’t even really have to waitress or cocktail unless we’re really desperate for help.  Basically now my job is almost all prep work.  I go into the office a couple times a week for meetings, but mostly I can work from home!  Once the events are assigned, I coordinate all aspects of the food for my events.  This means planning a menu and pricing it with the chef, scheduling servers (and bartenders and cocktailers if we’re doing booze), making a timeline for delivery, etc.  Then on the day of the job, I have to supervise from start to finish and collect payment from the customer. It’s actually a lot more complicated than you might think, but I don’t mind the responsibility and I absolutely love the people I work with.

So yeah my life is pretty awesome right now.  *giggles*  Thanks to all of my sexy boyfriends for keeping me company during the move.  I know I’ve been a little hard to reach online, but that should ease up now.  And oh Marvelous Marty, the housewarming sheets I bought with your Amazon gift certificate are AWESOME.  I love them and I adore you!  *muah*  I know I am wayyyy overdue on shout-outs, but hopefully you sexy guys will forgive me if smile really cute and wiggle my ass in your direction. Hehehe!

Have a great week, and if you need a little pick-me-up, how about a sweet phone sex call with your favorite girl?

XOXO
Amy

Gosh, Guys, I am really sorry I haven’t posted much lately, but your phone sweetheart has been super busy.  Moving is so much work!  I got this week off from the catering company so I could concentrate on the move.  I officially get keys tomorrow and the truck is coming on Wednesday.  My phone, cable, and internet are supposed to be installed on Wednesday as well, so hopefully I won’t be unreachable for very long.  But in case anything goes wrong, I’ll at least have my cell phone and should be able to take some naughty phone sex calls even if I can’t be online.  I still have some furniture shopping to do, but that’s the fun part.  I can’t wait to be in the city and closer to work!  And after I get settled in, I’m even thinking about getting a cat!!!  This makes me feel really grown up.  Lol.  But I swear inside I’m still 16!  Oh well, we all have to grow up sometime, right?  *grins*  Next time I write, it will be from my very own home!  I can’t wait to christen my new bed with one of my sexy phone boyfriends!  Hehehe!

XOXO
Amy

P.S. Thanks to Marvelous Marty for the awesome early house-warming gift! He sent me an Amazon.com gift certificate, and I used it to buy super soft sheets for my new queen-sized bed. I had a full mattress before, so once I bought the new bed I knew I’d need tons of new sheet sets. I tend to go through them, I wonder why. Hehehe! Anyways, thanks MM! *hugs and kisses*

Has it really been so long since I updated my blog?  *blush*  I’ve been so busy taking care of my special phone boyfriends, that I haven’t had any spare time to write!  And when I’m not catering an event or in the office, I’m packing up my things and getting ready to move.  Yep that’s right, I got the condo I wanted and I’m moving in on October 1st!  Can you believe it!?!  I’m sooooo excited, and I even have an early-Christmas-present budget from my parents to buy brand new furniture!  This is just the coolest.  I know I’m not exactly paying for everything alone, but I did save up half the down payment, and I’ve signed a loan contract with my folks to make everything official.  In three weeks time, I’ll be in my very own home!  I can’t wait to move in and decorate the place.  It’s going to be classy but comfy and totally me!  And I plan on making the perfect pretty bedroom to take my awesome phone sex calls in…

Like my naughty roleplay with Hot for Teacher, who got a super sloppy blowjob from his favorite teacher’s pet…Me! *giggles* Then he bent me over his desk and did me right there in his empty classroom!

Plus I finally got to play with Sky! We had a steamy threesome with my Curious Boyfriend, who has always wanted to make love to two women at once. We cozied up to him in the hot tub and then gave him the ride of his life! Mmmm, thanks for helping me make his dreams come true, sexy Sky!

Or Spanky J, who loves to hear stories about all the times my friends and I got in trouble and got spanked for it. Once I work him up into a spanking frenzy, he likes to spew all over my cute tootsies. Just call it an extra-moisturizing pedicure. LOL!

Had a very hot session with the VIP with a reeeeeally dirty mind. *blush* I don’t even know how to write a shout-out to him without getting like super vulgar. Hehehe. So I’m just going to say thanks and hope I didn’t disappoint!

And OMG have you had a naughty phone sex call with Cutie Pie Kelly yet? We got to be co-captains of the cheerleading squad for our Kinky Coach and showed him our private cheer. We found brand new uses for our pom-poms! Hehehe!

How do I describe exactly how awesome Marvelous Marty is? I mean, words fail…Sometimes you just click with someone and know they’ll be your friend (with benefits! Hehehe!) forever. MM is one of my oldest phone boyfriends, but our calls are never old or boring. We always find new ways to tease and please each other, and as soon as we hang up I start looking forward to our next call. *smooch*

Aren’t I a lucky phone girlfriend? *smile* Hope you have a great week, and come cuddle up with me on a sexy phone date when you have a chance!

XOXO
Amy

Omg I am soooo super excited! I think I found the condo I want to buy! My parents approve of it AND it’s $5K less than my budget. It’s a one-bedroom, with a full bathroom plus a half bath, open floor plan with remodeled kitchen. It’s perfect for me! The location is really great too- much closer to work and in this cool neighborhood I didn’t think I could afford. We’re going to fill out papers on Monday or Tuesday. I’m not really sure how all this works but my understanding is that it could take a while for the sale to go through. Cross your fingers for me!

Gosh I’m so excited, I’m totally ready for a nice tender phone date with one of you sexy boyfriends… *hint hint* Hehehe!

XOXO
Amy

Mmmm, doesn’t a nice cuddle with your favorite phone sweetheart sound like the perfect way to start your weekend? *smiles* I have almost the whole weekend off, except for a small banquet tomorrow evening. And that should only take three hours max, so I’m pretty much free all weekend! Yay! The thing is, I always try to stay off the roads on holiday weekends- too many stressed and/or drunk drivers out there. Besides, it’s much nicer to curl up in bed, watch some movies, and hope my phone rings!

I really must be the happiest girl at Bay City Blues, because my phone boyfriends are the sweetest guys anywhere! Not to mention how much fun the other sexy ladies are to play with…Just the other day, I got to have a super hot phone sex threesome with Mommy Sydney and Teacher Dave. See, my grades have been slipping but I’m determined to keep my average up so I can get into a great college. After the special extra credit work Mommy and I did, Teacher is sure to give me an A. *wink*

Marvelous Marty and I have to make the best of the rare times we have together, but it’s okay because whenever I hear his voice it’s like we were never apart! We’re just so comfortable and honest with each other, nothing can come between us. Well, except his raging hard-on of course! *giggles*

This morning I got to wake up to a nice sexy cuddle with Boyfriend John, who really is a total sweetheart to me. He loves that I’m a lady in the street and a whore in the bedroom. *giggle* And I love being his adoring arm candy and naughty little slut all rolled into one!

Peeping Travis knows his naughty secret is safe with me. Lucky for him, I’m not the kind of girl to kiss and tell. Or pose in my panties in the window for the pervert outside in the bushes and tell. Hehehe!

I hope you all have a safe, happy, and fun Labor Day Weekend! And if you need some sweet phone sex with a GFE twist, come cuddle up with me!

XOXO
Amy

By Age At Wal-Mart

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit- shorts with the hole in crotch, old T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes. Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Wal-Mart to get something to help complete the job.

Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20’s: Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. You went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30’s: Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40’s: Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don’t want to waste any of it on a trip to Wal-Mart. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter’s age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50’s: Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don’t want to get dirt in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy’s Bait & Beer Bar and it says, ‘I Got Worms.’

In your 60’s: Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog crap off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50’s. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in you pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don’t have your glasses on, so you are not sure.

In your 70’s: Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Wal-Mart until they have your prescriptions ready, too. Don’t even notice the dog crap on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80’s: Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Wal-Mart. Go to Wal-Mart and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

LMAO!

Puts me in a good mood to go condo shopping with my parents. Have I mentioned they’re going to help me buy a place? I’m super psyched! I found 10 condos online and in the paper that I want to look at, and they are going to pick 5 of them for us to go see. I’m really excited to own my own home! No more wasted rent money for this girl. *grins* I’m trying really hard to be more financially responsible, and this is a good first step, right? Of course another part of it is working my butt off at the catering company and here at Bay City Blues too, so thank god I have the best phone boyfriends in the world!

Mmmm I just love naughty teacher roleplays! I got to seduce Bri-Guy when he came in for the special parent-teacher conference. I’ve seen him around, and he always seemed like such a nice guy.  But it must be lonely being a single father, so I decided to make sure he’s not going without.  And I hit my goal of three orgasms in one call, so I guess we’ll just have to raise the bar higher.  *wink*

Then I had a marathon oral and spanking session with Sweetheart Paul, my brand new phone boyfriend from Connecticut. He was such a generous lover, and it was an absolute joy getting to discover his turn-ons and even just chit chat with him!

Midnight Mike and I had a ride that would have put Paul Revere’s to shame! *giggle* I love sliding down on a nice big throbbing cock and feeling what my gorgeous body does to a man! Trust me, Midnight Mike is no exception- he shot a huge load deep inside me almost as soon as he felt me wrap around him!

I finally got to catch up with Marvelous Marty, who was worried since I’ve been so hard to reach lately (family emergency, but no biggie). We did an amazing mile-high fantasy inspired by my short flight (the same family thing again) and that sexy minx, Melody. MM and I were on a red-eye flight and couldn’t help teasing and flirting with each other until we had to take advantage of those airline blankets for a little privacy. I feel bad for whoever has to clean up the plane. Hehehe!

Had an awesome phone sex orgy with Josie, who has the sexiest Southern drawl!  She and her Texas Billionaire boyfriend made me an offer I couldn’t refuse- be his girlfriend on the side and never have to work again!  I can’t wait to spend my days shopping and at the spa and my nights getting naughty with them in their luxurious mansion!

Oh yeah, just in case you were wondering, not all shout outs are good ones. To the drunken asshole who called me in the middle of the night and got mad when I wouldn’t dominate him, ummm HELLO?!?! I’m the phone sex girlfriend, not the phone sex dominatrix! I state it clearly like just about everywhere. I blog about GFE phone sex. I don’t list domme specialties anywhere. It’s one thing if you miraculously overlook all of that, but to be rude and abusive towards me because YOU can’t read is unnacceptable. I love phone sex. But I don’t have to put up with that crap. So there.  *whew*  Sorry just had to get that off my chest.  Lol.

At least one bad apple doesn’t ruin the rest of my bunch of awesome phone boyfriends. Hope you had a great weekend!

XOXO
Amy

Aren’t these cute? I love funny food pictures…

Speaking of cute…Wow! Did you see all the gorgeous new girls at Bay City Blues phone sex? Check them out…There’s sexy storyteller Vanessa, barely-legal cutie pie Kelly, and kinky cougar Victoria! Yummy! I can’t wait to play with all of them! Really, we have the best girls at BCB, don’t you think? Makes me happy, knowing there’s someone for everyone, no matter what your “type” is. And I’m sure the other girls feel the same way. I know I’m always super happy I can be there for my favorite phone friends…

My darling Marvelous Marty and I have had TWO hot strip tease phone dates this week, and I just love teasing him slowly with my curvy little body.  (Thanks, Michelle, for the inspiration!)  Oh the way MM moans when he sees these perky tits and hard nipples of mine!  I drive him wild with desire, and he always returns the favor, making his phone girlfriend a very happy, creamy girl.  *winks*

Then I got to have another sexy roleplay with my New Hubby.  We were both virgins on our wedding night, but eager to make a baby.  It was so sweet and tender and loving, and I just know there is going to be a wonderful bundle of joy to celebrate from our first union as man and wife!

I have a brand new phone sex suitor named Donny Darling who was super sweet to me.  We chatted a little bit before I slid onto my knees to show him how a proper phone sweetie treats her man.  *winks*  No position is off limits- I love it on top, doggy style, whatever it takes to make you explode, darling.  I may not be the kinkiest girl, but I’m game to try just about anything to make you happy!

Super smooches to Kissing Kevin for an awesome introduction call- I thought I was going to pass out from all the orgasms!  *giggle*  Seriously though, we had a lot of fun exploring one another’s bodies and learning how to make each other shiver.  It’s so nice to have that kind of time together, isn’t it? 

That truly is my favorite part about being a phone girlfriend…Getting to know my sexy boyfriends and learning what makes them tick…And explode!  *wink*  Come cuddle up with me?

XOXO
Amy